The Mexican golden girl - Paulina Rubio

It is impossible to talk about Thalía without mentioning her nemesis, Paulina Rubio. That's why I have written about her immediately after. Enjoy ;-). Allow me to begin by saying that, unlike Thalía, who is infinitely more popular but sells much less, Paulina Rubio is only second to Shakira in the Spanish speaking world when it comes down to sold units of her albums. Which has a lot of merit when you think that she is also one of the most widely disliked and ridiculed celebrities both in Spain and Latin America: someone whose fame is as sustained by her godawful 'singing' as it is by her relationships with washed up (and much older) pseudo-playboys, hitting paparazzi with anything at hand, keeping her fans waiting for hours before she feels in the mood to start singing and infuriating displays of overall imbecility - of which she is incredibly proud. In short, Paulina Rubio is the prototypical unprofessional, childish, rude, narcissistic, foul-mouthed and destructive rock star, but without the talent and no rock songs! Or else, she is a tabloid dream, and a train wreck waiting to happen.

Paulina was born into an extremely wealthy family in 1971. Her father is one of Mexico's most important television and cinema producers and her mother is well known telenovela 'actress', Susana Dosamantes. Educated in the Centro de Educación Artística, which has no prestige whatsoever, Paulina was selected at the age of ten to be part of the horrible group Timbiriche. She would rapidly become one of the group's most prominent members: in fact, she was the first creature out of it to land a stellar role in a massively successful telenovela. Soon enough, though, her alarming lack of talent was made apparent when her particularly atrocious acting was blamed for the debacle that was the soap opera Pobre Niña Rica/Poor Little Rich Girl. Something scary when you think that telenovela actors in general couldn't be any worse. Thus, Paulina received the distinction of being named the shittiest among the awfully bad. Wonderful start to a golden career!



Thus, Pau (as she likes to be called) saw that acting wasn't her thing, and decided to try her hand at (gulp!) croaking... No, I mean cracking... er, burping? Never mind. Unlike Thalía, whose producers and songwriters drew inspiration out of their arses in order to perpetrate her first horrible albums, Paulina did things properly: she hired renowned hit makers, actual producers (not her drug-addicted, 27-year-older boyfriend - that would come later) and shot nice videos. The results are quite nice, to be honest. Her first record La Chica Dorada/The Golden Girl (1992) was a massive success, as were her second and third, which have some really great songs. Sadly, Paulina became comfortable and produced a disastrous fourth album Planeta Paulina (1996), which is utter shit and could be single handedly responsible for the prohibition of house music.

During those years, Paulina had a relationship with the son of renowned architect Ricard Bofill (who is responsible for some of the most expensive hazard-ridden, crumbling buildings in history), and released nothing at all. A union made in drug and alcohol heaven, they provided endless hours of delightful entertainment with her increasingly bizarre displays of arrogance and his scary displays of unpredictable, psychotic behaviour (which gave Paulina a split forehead during a particularly nasty fight with a television crew - aaaawwww, the very stuff of romance!). After much ridicule and no work, Paulina was unceremoniously dumped by her record company, and started looking for a new music contract.



And that's when things began to look up! Becoming part of the Universal rooster, she hooked up with megastar producer Estéfano, who is mostly responsible for the massive success of her album Paulina (2000), which sold four million copies around the world and spawned seven massive hits. She wisely stayed with him, and even though her English language dull-a-thon début is mostly rubbish and her subsequent albums are very fun but have no substance whatsoever, she's kept being massively successful, constantly hitting the top spot of the Latin Billboard chart and every other Latin American country, as well as Spain, where she is massively popular.

Soon after becoming so successful, Paulina dumped Ricard Bofill Jr, started touring the world and made enemies everywhere thanks to her crazy antics (which include spending whole interviews refusing to talk to her interviewer, bopping up and down like a little girl while wiggling her bony behind and shouting incoherently whenever someone asks her something she doesn't like and, of course, publicly insulting Thalía and recalling how they used to punch each other on stage - classy). In fact, her behaviour is so freakingly weird that people have changed her official title, La Chica Dorada, for La Chica Drogada (The Drugged Up Girl), because the stupid cow is either crazy, mentally retarded or has a severe drug problem... If not all three things at once.

Finally, we come to the end of this heap of endless praise upon the great diva of our generation by doing the usual thing: go to buy her albums at Amazon and enjoy the selection, my dears!

Fire (Sexy Dance)

I love this song. In fact, it's my favourite from Paulina. It also happens to be one of the few decent tracks in her 2002 album Border Girl. Technically, this is a remix from a song from her previous album, but while the original had a more tropical feel to it (which didn't suit it at all) this is pure techno bliss. Whispery vocals that follow an almost inexistent melody are followed by distant echoes that delve into the lovely chorus, which is made out of endless layers of voices pressed together. The second chorus is particularly nice, with Paulina 'belting' a gorgeous melody. Wonderful song! Video.

Y Yo Sigo Aquí/And I'm Still Here

The second massive hit for her 2000 return to form, this very strange and cheerful song has one of the most unappealing melodies imaginable, and seems to have been put together from pieces of other far better songs. However, there's something completely irresistible about it. From the strange beginning, in which we hear a car engine along radio static sounds to the thumping beats and sing-along-ish chorus, this is a wonderful song that has nothing of wonderful about it. Maybe that's why it became so successful: it's like nothing anyone would expect. Video.

Ni Una Sola Palabra/Not Even A Single Word

This fast rocky ballad is simply lovely, and has been a huge hit for her latest album Ananda (2006). A delicate heartbreak song about a woman whose desperate efforts cannot rescue her failing relationship, it is simply great. The melody is gorgeous and the chorus is impossibly catchy - if you can avoid singing along to this, you're made of iron. Video.

Algo Tienes/You've Got Something

This infectious, bouncy song was the first single for Paulina's stupidly titled 2004 album Pau-Latina. A self-proclaimed incursion into pop/rock-folk, it is a rather enjoyable collection of pop confections that have as many pretensions of treascendence as they have hooks: many. It's a worthy album, for all the songs are extremely catchy and well-written (so much so, that Paulina can't ruin them in spite of trying very hard). With whispered, almost inexistent verses, a cheerful rise and explosive choruses, this is a summery that that will surely satisfy everyone. Video.

Nieva, Nieva/It's Snowing, It's Snowing

This is my favourite song from Paulina's first years. The first single and hit from her spectacular second album 24 Kilates/24 Karat Gold, this song is simply adorable, and even though it isn't exactly a ballad, it isn't a danceable either. Gracefully lying between both genres, it beautifully glides away with Paulina's croaky belting. Not strangely at for early Paulina, the lyrics are fantastic, and the melody gorgeous. There's not much more tosay about it, so I'll let you all enjoy it.

The mythical starlet of Mexico - Thalía

Thalía is, arguably, Latin America’s most popular female singer. She also happens to be the official queen of telenovelas, and thanks to this her popularity in many parts of the world has been steadily increasing over the years. Philippines and Eastern Europe in particular, have rapidly warmed up to her, so much so that, in 1997, she released a CD specifically for the Philippine market, the massively successful Nandito Ako, and her sales in Poland, Hungary and Russia are impressively high. Thalía has also contributed to maintain her prominent position in the pecking order of the Latin world by becoming involved with a string of influential (and increasingly powerful) men throughout her life. Thanks to her ever more sophisticated public image and an apparently innocent and carefree demeanour in spite of her wealth, her legions of adoring fans can only be happy and admired at Thalía’s slow, but steady, climb to the top of the Spanish-speaking music world… especially when one has in count that she only had a severely limited talent to begin with, and isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Born into an affluent family on August 26, 1971, Thalía belongs to a short, but very successful tradition of entertainers: her much older sister has been a very popular soap opera actress for decades, and her mother fancied herself a proficient pianist during her youth. Thus it’s normal that, in such an environment, she would start working on television from an early age. In 1984, aged thirteen, Thalía participated in a stage production of Grease along a few members of Timbiriche, then a massively popular (and awfully bad) teenage-oriented band. Thanks to this, she would become a part of the group’s line up, eventually overshadowing most of the other members. I’d like to mention that the people behind Timbiriche ought to be tried for crimes against humanity, since not only was their music shit, but some of the worst Latin pop singers ever have come out of it. By all means, do not buy any of their albums (I bought their greatest hits, and am still regretting it).



However, where does Thalía’s appeal lie? From the very first moment she set foot on a scenario with Timbiriche and started proffering wavering whines (which were often mimicked by her eternal rival and overt enemy, the disastrous, yet much more commercially successful Paulina Rubio), the public became enthralled by the same childish smile, shrill voice and air of Lolita-esque sexuality that she preserves to this day. As her determination to be taken seriously as an artist strengthened more and more, Thalía was seen making concise efforts to improve her hideous voice, to the point when nowadays she can sing live without inspiring laughter. It is thus in that combination of infantile traits, discipline and a certain vulgarity that she carefully injects in her speech and manners that Thalía’s enormous appeal resides. Simply put, she just appears like a salacious, populace-oriented and harmless version of the ideally white next-door-girl that many would like to marry.

Anyway, in 1990 Thalía was popular and well-known enough as to be able to afford leaving the band, which she promptly did to pursue a career as both an actress and singer. While her participating in telenovelas is excusable up to a certain point (let’s face it, they aren’t exactly examples of sublime artistry), her first three albums are simply dismal: I never thought it was possible to find an album where all songs were rubbish, until I heard Thalía’s first ‘musical’ perpetrations. Still, they all became enormous hits. By 1992 she had already become the queen of soap operas (a crown that she hasn’t relinquished yet in spite of the fact that it’s been almost a decade since she last acted in a telenovela), and great changes took place. Her until then lover, producer and manager died (it is rumoured that he died of complications caused by his frequent overuse of drugs, but nothing has ever been clarified regarding this matter), and Thalía’s career took a turn for the better. She signed for EMI and started working with quasi-legendary producer Emilio Estefan, who gave her good material for a change!



From then onwards, Thalía has gone from strength to strength, releasing a string of increasingly good albums with even better singles, which came to an abrupt halt when she decided to cross over into the English-speaking market. Uneasy with the language and given the sort of lifeless songs that only a catatonic person would find exciting, Thalía gracelessly stumbled and fell flat on her face, not before making an embarrassment of herself in what has to be the tackiest and most pretentious wedding in history – from Tommy Mottola’s ridiculous overweight, washed up Il Padrino-styled looks to Thalía having to be held in place by her retinue due to the enormous weight of her absurdly large dress… with a 16 metre long veil (please, just please). Oh, and the wedding took place amidst a legion of screaming fans! That’s classy.

Well, I think that I’ve spoken enough about Thalía. However, I can’t finish this article without recommending you to buy her latest album El Sexto Sentido, which is a simply fabulous return to form, and feature’s Thalía’s best vocals ever. Well, here’s the selection I’ve made, which I hope you’ll like! Her albums are available almost everywhere, but Amazon is always the safest bet.

Mujer Latina/Latin Woman

This song was the biggest hit from Thalía's 1997 enormously successful album Amor A La Mexicana/Love Mexican Style. Far from the surprisingly dull rubbish that people like Ricky Martin, Jennifer Lopez and Thalía herself would release a few years later to try to break the American market (apparently, the concepts ‘good music’ and ‘crossover’ don’t go well together), this is a simply infectious song that shot to the top of the charts virtually everywhere, including the market which is most reluctant to warm up to Latin American artists, Spain. Evidently, this song did deserve the success it was given, and it is one of Thalía's few truly magical moments. Video.

Piel Morena/Dark Skin

This exceptionally beautiful cumbia is perfectly respectful of the canons set by the most traditional form of this glorious Colombian folk genre, which is surprisingly unpopular in its country of origin, but has found a new home in Central America and especially in Mexico, where it is loved by many. It is also Thalía's one and only classic, in spite of the fact that it has been one of her least successful singles in the Latin Billboard charts, only managing to reach the number 7 position. Still, all of her fans concur with the fact that it is her best effort ever, and it was voted 'best song ever' in a 2003 poll from vastly influential Spanish language channel Univision in the US. Video.

Tú Y Yo/You And Me

The first single for her eponymous 2001 Spanish language album (the second one with this title – be careful, do not buy the first one!!!!) this bouncy soft rock/pop song is one of Thalía’s most original tracks – combining cheerful, fast verses with a somewhat dark and repetitive piano-driven chorus. A truly interesting track (not to mention, incredibly fun to dance to) it’s my favourite from the album! It also happens to be one of Thalía’s most successful singles in the Latin Billboard charts. Video.

Reencarnación/Reincarnation

This spectacular dance song is one of the highlights of Thalía’s most successful album ever, the dramatically uneven Arrasando/Ravaging (2000). Full of spectacular dance numbers, it only contains two atrociously mediocre ballads, and the theme song from her last telenovela, 1999’s Rosalinda. This song in particular creates an oppressive, hazy atmosphere with distant chants and what sounds like whispery incantations, only to flood your speakers with a techno storm after a few seconds. From the booming brass section, the impossibly heavy and fast beat to the hook-saturated melody, everything about this song is perfect. It also has the originality of having two endings: a climatic explosion of trumpets and beats when the dance part of the song ends, and then distant tribal beats accompanying the echo of far away voices. Amazing song. Inexplicably, this wasn’t successful at all as a single. Could the atrocious video be to blame?

Un Sueño Para Dos/A Dream For Two

Finally, I’m offering you this impossibly catchy song from Thalía’s last album, the bizarre Kabbalah-meets-bubblegum-pop pastiche El Sexto Sentido/The Sixth Sense. In spite of the previous description, all I can say is that it is a WONDERFUL album full of impossibly catchy and fast pop-rock and dance songs, with the occasional ballad. This track in particular is a superb mid-tempo dance number with a sinuous melody that keeps playfully swirling around electronic bleeps, only to explode into a rock-tinged chorus. The end is lovely, with Thalía reaching her highest notes in years (although they are pushed to the background by a sea of harmonies). Excellent song.

The sun eclipses itself (2005-2006) - A Shakira Overview Pt 4

Fijación Oral Vol 1 (2005)

After the enormously successful Tour of the Mongoose and the surprisingly high sales for the miserably live record Live and Off The Record, Shakira decided that it was the ideal time to rest in her laurels and produce an album solely for her enjoyment – which is to say that, predictably, it would be a coldly calculated exercise of epplied marketing research. Sadly, this time she decided to suck all the life from the few songs she produced during that period that are worthy of mention.

La Tortura/The Torment (Shaketon remix)

Released in early 2005 and led by the summer-ready single La Tortura, a stacatto-driven reggaeton-ish homage to inaudible pap and ridiculously pretentious lyrics with no meaning whatsoever (oh sorry, I forgot that philosophic conundrums are meant to be cryptically represented!), the Spanish language album Fijación Oral Vol 1 is Shakira’s proud return to her primary market, only there’s far too much pride in it and little of triumph. Simply put, the dullness of most of these songs is jarring, and not even the overabundance of delicately arranged little details and genre fusion could manage to push them beyond elevator music status. The said first single is made even worse by urban pseudo-poetaster supreme Alejandro Sanz’s trademark tuneless growling, of which we are thankfully spared for the rest of the record. Still, things don’t exactly improve from then on - however, tucked in the end of the album there's a remix version does manage to improve on the original considerable.

La Pared/The Wall

Swamped by mid-tempo ballads that start off shakily and go absolutely nowhere, the record does have its bright spots, even though they are so overproduced and clinical that it’s impossible not to long for the hip waving, semi-tone uttering, rock-and-dance bopping Shakira of yesteryear. La Pared, a timid rocker that’s far too short and lacking in the enthusiasm and grit of olden days, manages to successfully combine acoustic instrumentation with eighties’ styled synthesizer touches that give the song, a well-written (for a change!) tale that vividly expresses the need for closeness and assurance of a woman who is in an uncertain relationship, an air of urgency and vibrancy that makes it rather enjoyable. Similarly, the sinuous No gracefully floats across constantly changing tempos and varying degrees of loudness in instrumentation, but tends to fall short of its promise by being soporific in the verses and impossible to hear in the choruses due to all the clutter.

Las De La Intuición/The Ones With The Intuition

Journeys towards techno-fied semi-dance music follow the same pattern, silently imploding in the unclassifiable fiasco Lo Imprescindible and delicately blossoming in Las De La Intuición, a rather pleasant and relaxed dance track that barely manages to keep the listener’s interest with carefully laid little touches, only to surprise with the impossibly catchy chorus, which joyfully rides on wave of techno effects. Similarly, the sixties-inflected Escondite Inglés alternates childishly between soft half-whispered verses and bopping, cheerful choruses that inspire you to get up and jump around the room.

Escondite Inglés/English Hiding Place

Sadly, beyond these two highlights things become insufferably insipid. The album opener En Tus Pupilas ought to be used to treat people who suffer from insomnia – so dull and unmemorable it is that even the slowest Amazonian sloths would find it lethargy-inducing. Things don’t get much better with the faux-bossa nova pastiche Obtener Un Si, which indulgently drones its way through big band-esque winds and violins guided by Shakira’s girlie purrs. Fortunately, she tries to go back to her former self with the marginally enjoyable Día Especial and Día De Enero, which sound like cast offs from her previous records, but at least capture some of her former magic.

Día de Enero/January Day
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Oral Fixation Vol 2 (2005)

Considerably better than her much publicized return to her Spanish roots, Oral Fixation Vol. 2 is Shakira’s attempt at boring English audiences to death, and even though she tries with all her might, her wicked songwriters and co-producers don’t let her! Which is not to say that all the material here is good (in fact, most of it is soporific), but at least it is a little removed from the endless droning of her previous effort. Led by the gorgeous Don’t Bother, a tense and bitter rocker that begs to be screamed, yet is given an elegantly catty delivery by Shakira, the album received impressively low sales for a massively publicized record, and required the addition of the impossibly catchy Hips Don’t Lie, a beautiful folk/rock ode to lust at first sight on a dance floor that pushed Shakira right back to her better times: the period between 1998 and 2002.

Don’t Bother

How Do You Do?

Still, some of the record’s songs ooze creativity – the simply adorable How Do You Do? is Shakira’s attempt at being transcendental by criticizing religious fundamentalism in questions addressed to a distant, unfathomable divinity. Led by heavy, sparse percussion and explosive choruses, this simply delicious song is an excellent album opener. Similarly appealing is the album closer, Timor, a track that was censored in Sumatra for its political/protest content, even if it’s only yet another one of Shakira’s attempts at appearing intellectual enough as to cater to her main fan base (because you know, pampered middle class twenty-somethings around the world are politically and socially conscious, in case you hadn’t noticed before). Led by thumping beats and a catchy melody overcrowded with hooks, it is a simply fabulous dance experience.

Hips Don’t Lie (featuring Wyclef Jean)

Hey, You

Sadly, after this the album becomes pretty much lost in Shakira’s overreaching ambition and overall self-indulgence. While the sprawling Animal City is funny in an Adams family sort of way due to its strange, almost infantile melody and downright idiotic lyrics with futile pretensions of social commentary, the Alanis Morissette rip off Costume Makes The Clown is simply disgraceful (it looks like that anorexic Carole King wannabe is the one who’s going to sue Shakira for plagiarising her image this time), and is only saved by its chaotic and shouty chorus. Things do rise above barely-mediocre, though, with the vaudeville-esque rock number Hey, You – a disturbing declaration of love that’s seems to have been written by the average stalker, but does have a sweet, cheerful chorus and engaging atmosphere that’s truly charming.

Timor

Unfortunately, the ballads (Shakira’s Achilles’ tendon) seem to be particularly weak this time, with impossibly dull and murky numbers that start nowhere, and boringly run around in circles to end up in the same place where they started. The melancholy driven Carlos Santana collaboration Illegal is a sedated bolero that endlessly drags over Shakira’s guttural weeping, and has what must be the famed guitarist’s only uninspired and mood-crushing solos. Even though the lyrics do have the extremely witty line ‘you said you would love me until you died/and as far as I know you’re still alive’, that’s about the only thing saveable in the entire song. The boredom factor is taken a thousand notches down in the indescribable The Day And The Time, a song so boring and unmemorable it’s actually nearly impossible to remember anything about it besides its sheer awfulness.

Dreams For Plans

Similarly drag are the dreary snooze fests Something and Your Embrace, which has French lyrics that are meant to elevate it from being sheer shit by adding a touch of cosmopolitan sophistication to it (they don’t serve their purpose very well at all, of course). The only tolerable ballad in the entire record is the soft rocker Dreams For Plans, which actually has a gorgeous chorus and a delicately woven melody that truly manages to reflect the bittersweet melancholy and slight regret in the song’s lyrics. And after coming to the end of this review, I have to remind you to buy her records here.

And the distant star becomes a sun (2001-2004) - A Shakira Overview Pt 3

Three years separate Shakira’s flourishing into the mainstream from her explosion into the lucrative international markets with Laundry Service – an album that is, so far, the crown of her career and one of her most accomplished works, if not her best ever. As it happened since the beginning, the high points are impressive: the lead single Whenever, Wherever successfully rides the dying wave of Americanized Latin pop by trading the all too well known prefabricated Salsa rhythms that brought us people like Ricky Martin and gave Jennifer López’s awfulness a sheen of exoticism, for delicate Andean flutes. A rock-ified ode to all-encompassing, absolute love, it has some of the most contrived and stupid lyrics in history (both in English and Spanish), but Shakira’s feeble yodel and goat-like tremolo imbue the impossibly catchy melody of a passion that few songs could ever have.

Whenever, Wherever

The song managed a respectable number 6 in the US billboard charts, and shot to number one in the UK, paving the way for the more ellaborate singles to follow. Objection (Tango) is the freshest, most carelessly produced track in here, yet it’s also the most cohesive and original, combining an instrumental tango beginning with batucada and rock instrumentation. The lyrics deal, predictably, with a relationship gone awry - Shakira’s obsession with personal inadequacy and the proverbial what-does-she-have-that-I-don’t-have response to an ending love affair are bordering on pathologic fixation, but since the music is excellent, in this occasion these irritating facts are easy to oversee.

Objection (Tango)

Rules

Following the rocky vein we find a truly superb collection of tracks that manage to be appealing to the average Alanis Morissette-liking pseudo-intellectual while channeling the youthful exuberance of the Go Gos. The inescapable Rules is simply adorable with its urgent percussions and dynamic acoustic rock instrumentation, which injects the album with a healthy dose of conventional spontaneity that’s nothing short of refreshing. Not surprisingly at all, Shakira blossoms in these surroundings, and uses this organic naturalness to her best advantage in the adorable semi-ballad Fool, and the nonsensical lyrics driven Poem To A Horse, which seems to have been an attempted homage to Chrissy Hynde’s delicate, uniquely girlie contralto during its soft verses, only to turn into a rousing rock anthem with its beautifully melodic choruses.

Ready for The Good Times

However, Shakira still manages to surprise her listeners by reclaiming her status as a pop princess with the somewhat faltering homage to disco Ready for The Good Times, another trip through excellent music that fails due to utterly disastrous lyrics and a chaotic production. Still, It’s in the Spanish language tracks (or the horribly dull version of Ojos Así) when Shakira stumbles. Whereas Suerte and Te Aviso, Te Anuncio are saved by their freshness, Te Dejo Madrid/I’m leaving You Madrid is just en empty exercise of her tried and tested folk/pop-rock formula, while the insufferable Que me Quedes Tu/That At Least You’re Left To Me is one of the most insipid attempts at an faux acoustic ballad that anyone could have come up with. However, Shakira more than redeems herself with the record's only notable ballad, the Céline Dion-esque slip Underneath Your Clothes, which manages to escape the sugary Adult Contemporary cheesiness by deploying, for once, lyrics that are original in their strangeness.

Underneath Your Clothes

Overwhelmed by endless praise, awards and the additional sales of her Spanish greatest hits, the live DVD/CD compilation Off The Record and her immensely successful worldwide tour, Shakira decided to take things calmly and devote the next to years to produce what would be her most ambitious project ever: the double album Oral Fixation, delivered in two completely different versions both for the Spanish and English language markets. Before anything, I shall remind you to buy her records at Amazon.

Jennifer López Spanish language remixes and versions

Today I've had a rather difficult and laborious day, so I've decided that the best way to relax was to come here and make another little post. :-) The object of this post is someone who is very far from the majority of singers featured in this blog (or rather, below them) in terms of talent, but she has released some truly excellent remixes and, in the past, her material was very enjoyable. Thus, as an homage to the Jennifer López of the olden days, I'm posting a few random remixes that by far surpass the original format of the songs they are meant to improve. Also included are two Spanish versions of songs from her best effort so far, the ridiculously named 'J.Lo'.

Personally, I've always thought that La López sounds extremely uncomfortable whenever has to even utter the simplest of phrases in Spanish, let alone singing (the recording sessions of her horrid dronefest Como Ama una Mujer must have been quite a show :-D - actually, I wonder how she communicates with that mummy she has for a husband... Is there a non-verbal language for necromancy? Sorry, that was a bitchy moment ;-P). Anyway, she sounds surprisingly at ease in the utterly superb Cariño, which is simply one of the most infectious (not to mention original) salsa-and-faux-R&B mash ups ever. The Spanish version of Love Don't Cost A Thing is slightly different from the original (it sounds a bit like a demo recording, in my opinion), but the delivery is so awkward that you won't be able to keep from laughing! :-D

La López redeems herself with the infectious reggaeton remix of '¿Qué Hiciste?', which injects the song with an ominous air of cold cruelty and impassioned desire of revenge that's quite unnerving, and saves it from the mediocrity of the original. Si Ya Se Acabó is given an aggressive club beat and distorted winds to create an irresistible call to the dance floor - if you can resist the urge to dance with this, you're superhuman... Or, better said not human at all! then, the Spanish version of 'Waiting for Tonight' is drastically changed by Pablo Flores, who I'm sure had making our heads spin when he addes the eardrum-assaulting percusion and bizarre electronic effects.

Well, that's all. Of course, I have to remind you to go to your favourite online store to buy Jennifer López's albums. It's not as if they were difficult to get. Maybe Amazon is a good choice. :-)


Cariño/Darling

Amor Se Paga Con Amor/Love Is Paid With Love (Love Don't Cost A Thing)

¿Qué Hiciste?/What Have You Done? (Luny Tunes Reggaeton remix)

Si Ya Se Acabó/If It's Already Over (Radio remix)

Una Noche Más/One More Night (Waiting For Tonight - Pablo Flores remix)

A few songs by Mónica Naranjo and some other things...

Yesterday I was revising my music files and found several tracks by Mónica Naranjo that I had downloaded some time ago, and found quite interesting. With the exception of the 2005 mega hit Enamorada De Ti, which was the only new track released with her hugely successful greatest hits collection, Colección Privada, all of them are remixes of previous hits. If You Leave Me Now was Mónica's first proper foray into English language, and even though it wasn't as successful as she had hoped (or as it ought to have been), is a wonderful dance track that will surely awaken your interest. While the original is simply marvellous, this club ready remix is quite interesting. It was included in the English language version of her album Chicas Malas/Bad Girls (2002), along with a catchy -yet certainly more relaxed- remix of the title track, which I'm also posting here.

The last remix I'm posting is simply superb; in fact, it's the best of all these songs. Even though the original version of Shake The House, the song chosen to represent the Spanish delegation in the 2002 FIFA World Cup (ewww!), is only notable because it features Mónica's highest note ever (a spectacular C6 in chest quality voice!), this vastly superior remix, with its urgent beat, repetitive percusions and heavy mechanical instrumentation, is sheer delight. It's also, like all good things in life, a bit short. However, it's so good that you won't be able to resist playing it again and again - which will indubitably compensate for its short length ;-). Well, without further ado, I leave you will the songs. Enjoy!

But, before anything, let me remind you to go to buy Mónica's albums at Amazon before! :-)

Edit: After further review, I've decided that one of Mónica's best songs in the last years deserved a place in this post, and I've included the link. I Ain't Gonna Cry/No Voy A Llorar was timidly promoted in Eastern Europe (particularly Greece and Russia), and managed to climb to the top twenty in both countries thanks to airplay alone. As always, Sony refused to properly support Bad Girls, later blaming Mónica for its mediocre international performance, but this time I am genuinely surprised that this wasn't a massive hit. While a prefer the superb original, which is pure disco awesomeness, this remix is just lovely, and I cannot imagine anyone not loving it. That's all - enjoy ;-).


Enamorada De Ti/In Love With You

If You Leave Me Now (Rawling Mix)

I Ain't Gonna Cry (Steelworks Mix)

Bad Girls (NY remix)

Shake The House (Mr Smash Fever's Pitch remix)



Changing the subject, I've been looking around today and I've found a few posts that I'd like to share with you. A few days ago, the always fantastic PopTrashAddicts presented a review of Scottish diva Sheena Easton's spectacular modernized disco album Fabulous, which is nothing short of amazing.

The wonderful PosterGirl truly works hard to find exceptional singers, and she invariably succeeds. This post about Estonian singer Kadi Toom is excellent, as is the exposition accompanying it :-). I've particularly enjoyed Nightfall, which is one of the sweetest ballads anyone could imagine!

Via PosterGirl's blog, I've just discovered YouDon'tKnowPop, which is very enjoyable. Thanks to it, I've had a brief journey through Ireland's pop landscape, and discovered the excellent singer Evan - who looks as good as he sounds ;-)!

DigitalTechnique hasn't been updated for some time now, but it recently featured an adorable acoustic version of Alphaville's classic Forever Young, performed by semi-legendary 80's teen queen Tiffany!

POPtastic! recently featured, among a myriad of exciting new things, an impossibly catchy cover of Click Five's excellent pop gem Friday Night by the lovely Christy Romano. Needless to say it, I've loved it! Then again, it's difficult not to love everything featured there :-).

That's all for this month - I'll return in April with some very exciting things! First of all, I'll rush head on to the world of Laika with megastar Kaiti Garbi, and Russian pop lovers shall be delighted with the inclusion of Estrada legend Alla Pugacheva among the many worldly divas of this blog - but don't despair, there will be many other new things! See you then :-)!

The new Spanish starlet - Soraya Arnelas

One of Spanish reality TV cum talent show Operación Triunfo’s most popular contestants ever, Soraya Arnelas’ name has become, in spite of her best efforts to avoid it, the very definition of ‘media personality’. After the spectacular boom that was the first season, ratings began to fall. It wasn’t until the highest-rated privately owned channel in the country bought the broadcasting rights and decided to ‘revamp’ the show by adding a few elements of dramatism, that things did improve: Obviously, high ratings and morbid, exploitative trash tend to be synonym, and the show became the exasperating, repugnant succession of infantile mind games and pre-baccalaureate level backstabbing that is Big Brother, only this time with songs (ugh!).

These conditions were ideal for a catty, egocentric bitch like Soraya to blossom. A flying stewardess (the very definition of worldly sophistication! ;-P), who had already applied for and been rejected from every other imaginable reality TV show, Soraya became the object of equally intense adoration and hatred from audiences from the very first time she opened her pretty little mouth to praise herself, talk about herself, refer to herself and praise herself… Oh, I had already said that one! :-D Never mind, I’m sure that Miss Arnelas would love to have a chance to sing her own praises twice within the same sentence, LOL. She also showed a particular liking for insulting anyone whom she considered undeserving of her all indispensable approval, and complained about everything. A natural born Alexis Carrington in starlet disguise, in short, she is one of the undisputed divas of the program… even if she didn’t win, which is unfair: she was by far the best singer among the top three contestants, and one of the few people in that season who had any real talent. In fact, Soraya has been blessed with a rich, expressive mezzo voice and a good vocal range.

Soraya’s peculiar antics have, not strangely at all, provided her with enormous publicity and made her the object of intense debate in the media. And it’s only fair: the girl has worked very hard to make her reputation as a total cunt meet everyone's worst expectations. From sending an open letter to her fan club, in which she had the nerve to order the administrators to devote more time and effort to promoting her and her album - in spite of the fact that they were in the middle of their final exams at university and don't get paid a penny for keeping the arrogant cow's site up to date - to barking at her fans because they don't buy enough copies of her records and launching furious verbal attacks against anyone who doesn’t worship the ground she steps on, Soraya has reached new glorious lows with every passing day. Oh, but the Spanish LOVE her ‘extravagant demeanour’ ;-D , and follow her every move with bated breath, which has translated into huge sales.



Just to give you an example, this past summer Soraya was singing at a concert gala on TV, and mispronounced two words – instead of pronouncing ‘por ella’ (for her), she said poyeya… And good God! People went crazy about it and they were even mentioning it in the news! As unbelievable as this is (personally, I couldn’t give credit to my eyes), it only goes to show how popular Soraya is despite (or maybe thanks to) having the manners of a grunting pig and an impossibly bitchy personality.

Although it may seem to some, given the tone of what I have written, that I hate Soraya, nothing could be further from the truth. I actually like all of her singles and adore her superbly bizarre second album, the hilariously named Ochenta's/Eightie’s :-P from 2006 - which is possibly the campest, cheesiest and tackiest collection of trance and house covers of hits from the eighties ever! Needless to say, I love it because it’s incredibly fun! Enjoy! But first, go to buy her records here or here.

Mi Mundo Sin Ti/My World Without You

Soraya’s first single, this song met notable success, hitting number 5 in the Spanish charts and eventually reaching gold status, which is something very rare for a single. It is an inescapable pop song that could be most adequately described as a wave: the verses are slow and simple, there’s a rousing crescendo and the chorus rises like a majestic watery tower, only to fall and repeat the cycle again. Even though it doesn’t really showcase Soraya’s range (most of her singles don’t) it allows the listener to appreciate the beauty in her voice. Video.

Corazón de Fuego/Heart Of Fire

The title track of her début album, from 2004, this song is just perfect. It combines diverse types of Latin American and Spanish folk music, fusing them together with a thumping dance beat that easily molds itself to suit the changes in rhythm and cadence of the song’s different parts. It’s by far my favourite song by Soraya, and even though it wasn't that great a hit, it deserves all of my love. Hopefully it will also have yours! :-) Video.

Because The Night

Who else would have thought about making an aggressive, mindless club anthem of drab pseudo-poetaster Patti Smith’s only tolerable moment? Here you have the answer! It is rumoured that this will be the third single for Soraya’s record Ochenta’s (I laugh every time I read that name – tacky! :-D), which has already been promoted with two covers of goddess Laura Branigan’s Self-Control and Go West’s 1985 hit Call Me. This is simply irresistible, and if you don’t feel compelled to dance to this, you have to go running to the doctor, because you’re close to being declared clinically dead.

Send Me An Angel

This is a cover of the 1983 début single from the Australian New Wave band 'Real Life'. I have never heard the original, but I have to say that I adore this version. So much so that it’s my favourite song in her new album! From the very first synthesizer scales (how retro! :-P), to the very last pre-programmed drums, passing through Soraya’s unbelievably affected vocals, this is as close to Heaven as any dance song will ever get. It’s indispensable!

The Mexican crowd pleaser - Fey

Mexican electro-bubblegum queen Fey's story is a sugary tale with a few touches of 'intense dramatism' thrown in for good measure. Born in a privileged environment and brought up since early childhood to be a star by her parents, who were highly involved in the Latin music industry, Fey has experienced the fickleness of fortune (and record companies) more than a few times, and possibly become stronger as a result... Even if she's been forced to remain within the confines of teenage pop in order to maintain her ever changing degree of popularity. This, however, has also helped her to keep a certain perennial freshness to her style that has enabled her to trascend the sways in pop culture trends. Said in less words, Fey's music flooded the airwaves with healthy bursts of cheesy wholesomeness in 1994, and has kept it's every-girl-next-door appeal regardless of what was happening around it.

Gifted with considerable charisma, prettiness and little else, Fey's raspy, half-sung and half-spoken vocals are the very opposite of what one would expect in a teenage star, for they convey everything but sweetness. This, however, didn't keep her from exploding into the mainstream with her début single, the adorable Media Naranja, which was followed by her massively successful self-titled album, which spawned another three hit singles. However, things were going to become even bigger with the release of her second album Tierna La Noche/Sweet Night(1996), as Latin America seemed to be afflicted by an acute case of Feymania that only got worse with the shameless overexposure of the artist: from crisps to lip balms, she endorsed everything and anything imaginable.



This was bound to affect her both personally and professionally, though, and her next album, the absolutely dismal El Color De Los Sueños/The Colour Of Dreams (1998), which was praised for mixing styles in the worst way imaginable, sold only a little less than her previous efforts on the strength of Fey's enormous popularity. In the eyes of her record company and most of the media, this was a sign that her good luck was coming to an end, and rumours started appearing about Fey's inminent disappearance from the charts and the hearts of her public. Of course, no one stopped to think that maybe the fact that the record was utter shit had something to do with the decline of her popularity, but the case is that, at the end of her 1999 tour, Fey announced with discretion that she was retiring... By going everywhere where they would have her and weeping about how terrible success had been for her! Poor little thing! ;-)

After nearly four years away from the spotlight, Fey returned in 2002 with what actually is her best material ever, the truly excellent Vertigo. Released as a double album with versions in Spanish and English (the English CD has rather accomplished extra tracks), the album was meant to launch her internationally and turn her into the next post-maternity, spiritually-liberated Madonna. Sadly, after being promised the moon, the record company got cold feet and simply refused to promote the album, which had an unfairly mediocre reception. Disenchanted, Fey retired and reluctantly came back two years later with her worst material ever, which ironically would propel her to the top of the charts and make her massively popular once again. Her horrid raping of Spanish legendary group Mecano's classics in La Fuerza Del Destino/The Strength Of Fate (2004), and then the careless, tired electro-pop of Faltan Lunas/There Are Not Enough Moons (2006 - the next album review, by the way! :-)) truly attest to the fact that Fey's popularity was built upon good songs in the first place.

But enough of my ramblings! If you want to buy her records, go to Amazon.

Azúcar Amargo/Bitter Sugar

Fey's wondrous greatest hit ever, from the legendary success that was her sophomore album, Tierna La Noche. This paean to heartbreak, which resorts to all sorts of hilarious malapropisms to convey the pains of teenage disillusion, is simply irresistible and arguably her best vocal performance ever, forcing her to go to the top of her range to 'belt' (:-S) the simply perfect chorus. Few pop moments have ever been so perfect, and this truly shows what Fey is capable of doing when given the right material. Video.

Sé Lo Que Vendrá/I Know What Will Come

The first of the only two singles released from her masterpiece Vertigo, this ought to have been a massive hit, but unfortunately both the rave reviews that the album received and the attempts that Fey made to promote it were unfructifeous. A truly superb dance song that, unlike Madonna's efforts, manages to convey a sense of heightened spirituality while being entertaining. A genuinely beautiful song with excellent lyrics (written by Fey herself), this is just delightful. Video.

Media Naranja/My Other Half

Fey's star-making first single, this song has aged surprisingly well, and could have become a hit nowadays as easily as it did in 1994. The impeccably polished production creates a joyful atmosphere while allowing the impossibly pretty (the overabundance of superlatives again! Ugh!) melody to flow naturally along Fey's peculiar vocals. Even though I wouldn't dare to call this a classic, it is indeed a fine pop confection. Video.

Canela/Cinnamon

The requisite ballad of this post comes with one of the few tolerable moments of the album El Color De Los Sueños. This extremely laid back and sweet song has very light touches of folk music, and manages to be one of Fey's most significant highlights by conveying profound sadness and despair without resorting to exaggerate instrumental effects or a dramatic vocal delivery. Truly beautiful. Video.

The unsung heroine of Spanish pop - Marta Sanchez

Marta Sánchez would be the queen of Spanish pop were it not for the fact that she is often regarded as a mere second rate singer with well-produced songs. Obviously, this is an unfair judgment made by people who deliberately choose to overlook Marta's notable vocal abilities, her excellent work as a composer and her impeccable musical choices; simply put, Marta Sánchez should reign supreme in the world of Spanish pop. Few people can compare themselves to her in terms of quality and sheer charisma - I would even go so far as to say that only Mónica Naranjo can be considered her equal, and even though I would say that Mónica has an infinitely better voice (you can’t even compare), Marta has crafted the classier and more enduring image.

However, those who dismiss her do have a valid argument: at the beginning of her career, Marta's willingness to do anything as long as it made her the object of everyone's attention (which included less than impressive displays of Bimbo level imbecility and a sordid naked spread in Spain's most successful tabloid), almost destroyed her career and cast serious doubts over her credibility as an artist. But let me start properly :-)

Born to a celebrated operatic bass and a homemaker, Marta's childhood was pretty ordinary. At fourteen she dropped out of school and decided to devote all her efforts to become a successful singer, which she managed to do when she substituted the lead singer of Olé Olé, one of Spain's most successful pop groups ever. All of a sudden, Marta became the sex symbol of the eighties in Spain and her fame overshadowed the group's - to the point when everyone started tipping her for solo stardom. But things were not going to be so easy! No no no! Unfortunately for Marta, audiences are fickle: what seemed the beginning of the end for her, was a totally tacky trip to entertain the laughable military delegation that Spain sent to the Gulf War, for which she was generally ridiculed. To make matters worse, she then gave in to the pressure of showing off her, ehem, ‘lady bits’ in a horrid page three-styled photo spread and was criticized for her droopy bosom (yes, that’s how low things fell for her :-( ). All of a sudden, her fame seemed to have vanished into the air, and everyone assumed she was going to be forgotten. That was it for her...



Or maybe not! I suppose that, terrified at being given a kick in the arse and fall back to being a struggling starlet, Marta worked hard on improving her voice and making the best début solo album she possibly could. Her efforts paid off, and her début single Desesperada/Desperate (which has an English version called Desperate Lovers) not only was a massive success, but became a classic and turned her into a household name. Since then, Marta has gone from strength to strength and all of her albums have had enormous - and well-deserved - success. Never one to rest on her laurels, she's been extremely careful with every single one of her releases, looking for good quality material and a little class and originality that set her apart from everyone else... Which she has managed to do splendidly – even if these days she is in no condition to show off her lady charms. ;-p

So here's the selection I've made but, before, please go to buy her records here or here :-).

Amor Perdido/Lost Love

This is one of my favourite songs ever. Even though the arrangement is uneven and it obscures Marta’s voice with a faux-Gospel chorus at the end of the song, the melody is simply magical. It begins very slowly, delicately flows into a barely-there crescendo and suddenly opens into the chorus, which appears out of nowhere like a shot of light. Needless to say, this is a ballad! :-D The message that the lyrics convey is extremely sad, expressing at the same time hope in an uncertain future and the certainty of an almost lost happiness that could never be… Beautiful! Video of a 'live' performance.

Desconocida/The Unknown One

This is one of Marta’s greatest hits, from her fourth album in 1998, of the same name. Before everyone started exploiting... er, I mean, raving about Hindu culture and sitar-laced musical ornamentation, she released this very interesting track, which manages to be exotic without sounding alien in any way at all, and was far ahead of most by at least two years. It is also very danceable, of course! The chorus is particularly nice, and I can assure that you’ll feel the need to sing along. Video.

Soy Yo/It's Me

This is the title track for her latest proper album, from 2002. It has also been her penultimate great hit before a soporific ballad she dedicated to her deceased sister (I am not criticizing her for this - I am truly sorry for the loss of her sister, but that song was, strangely enough, her only shit single). This was written and produced by Paul Barry and Mark Taylor from Metro. Which explains why it was so big, I guess. It’s a very upbeat, cheerful song about re-asserting one’s independence after an unhappy relationship (it could be best described as Marta’s ‘Believe’, in short). Video.

Dime La Verdad/Tell Me The Truth

This was the most successful single of Marta’s second album, Mi Mundo/My World (1995). Which means it was enormous! It is reminiscent of Madonna’s Secret, even though the instrumentation is a bit more prominent and the tempo is considerably faster – it is also much more beautiful, with a sinuous, alluring melody and Marta showcasing a very polished lower range. Video. Enjoy!

The Spanish panther - Mónica Naranjo

Mónica Naranjo is the Spanish über-diva that makes every gay man's dreams come true. She is outrageous, vociferous, melodramatic, tacky and cheesy in all the right ways. But the important thing is, she has one of the greatest voices ever. EVER. If you listen to her, you'll just keep wondering how someone can be so unbelievably good and not be internationally famous. Her ability to reach impossibly high notes will leave your mouth agape, but it's the songs that will most probably make you wanna run out, tripping over your feet to get one of her records. The fact that she writes and co-writes all of her material is most commendable, because it's VERY good. You can buy her albums at Amazon.

Monica's career hasn't been without its accidents and few fairy tale-style highs. She left home at fourteen to make her own way in life, since her family was very poor. Soon enough, she started sending tapes to various recoding companies while struggling as a waitress, and that's how she met a music producer who would give her singing lessons through the phone for a very long time - when they finally met two years later, they realized that they were in love and married after a few days. The situation, however, wasn't a fortunate one: they both had to fight very hard to get Mónica a recording contract, which attests to the stupidity of record execs. Sadly, her awesome début album was totally ignored (and when I mean totally, I mean totally - she sold less than a thousand copies in a year). That's when her manager decided to take her to Mexico, and she became HUGE in Latin America, to the point where she sold in a short time a 3,000% more than she had sold in Spain during one year - 3 million copies.

If her début was huge, her follow up was massive. It's the best collection of songs that she's ever released, and almost touched the six million mark, which is exceptional for the Spanish speaking music market - sadly, attempts to promote it in Spain failed miserably due to lack of interest. Undeterred, Mónica fought with tooth and nail to make a place for herself, and came on top amidst a sea of controversy - while some said that she was a transvestite, other people said that her husband, jealous of her success, had abandoned her (seriously, don't tabloid reporters have anything better to do with their time?).



Anyway, Mónica has become one of the brightest luminaries in Spanish music, and although she decided to terminate her contract with her record label two years ago, it's rumoured that she's going to release an album internationally in 2007! Get ready for the hurricane Mónica!

El Amor Coloca/Love Makes You High

This was Mónica's fantastic début single, which was inexplicably ignored by the Spaniards (are they deaf??!?!?!?!?!!!!), but stormed the charts all over Latin America. It's a very unique song, and it's really difficult to pigeonhole it - it starts as a ballad, after a few seconds it looks like it's going to be a bubblegum pop song, and then it becomes a bombastic dance anthem. The message behind the song is a bit trite ("don't do drugs; make love instead"), but the melody and the voice are far too amazing to make you care about that. Video of a 'live' performance.

Tú Y Yo Volvemos Al Amor/You And Me Are Coming Back To Love

This is from Mónica's unsurpassable second album, Palabra de Mujer (A Woman's Word). It's the closest she's ever come to doing a sweet, teenybopper-ish kinda song. Only, this is a beautiful fast ballad with acoustic guitars and a rousing chorus. It's one of the lightest moments in an album that's full of wild dance epics and even wilder melodramatic ballads that will leave you speechless for days. It's TERRIFIC! If you have to buy one album from hers, this is it. Video.

Sobreviviré/I Will Survive

This is the Groove Brothers Club Mix for one of her most successful songs. The original is a spectacular hard rock song that has Mónica reaching heights that few people could ever dream of touching, but I thought that this post required something a bit less dramatic and a little more fun, so I've included this remix, which is beyond words - just what you need when you've had a hard day and want to forget about the world. Spectacular video for the original version.

Sacrificio/Sacrifice

This is yet another amazing dance track written by Louis Biancaniello and Sam Watters (the team behind Anastacia's biggest hits), and in its English version is called What About Love?. It's a really catchy dance song that will surely satisfy most pop fans everywhere, especially those who like a more 'international' feel to their music. The album from which this was taken, Chicas Malas/Bad Girls, also comes in an English version that was quite successful in Eastern Europe. 'Live' performance of the English language version. Enjoy! :-)