Album Review Pt 2 - Marie Serneholt's Enjoy The Ride

I don’t know what has happened in Marie Serneholt’s life since A*Teens disbanded, but after listening to her début album, I deduce it must have been pretty awful, since she seems to be longing to retrocede in time to the teen craze of the year 2000, and live her adolescence once again. Maybe it is that sharing the spotlight with the group’s other three members was incredibly frustrating for the inner prototypical teen, pop-singing nymphet that she so desperately tries to unleash in this record, but the truth is that this music is incredibly dated for 2007, and not above most of the drivel that saturated the airwaves back then and propitiated the emergence of the Avril Lavignes and hip hop-filtered Beyoncés of the world. In short, this product is long past its caducity date.



The album opens with the amusing title track, which draws the listeners in with somewhat aggressive electric guitar chords that create a sense of expectation for an thunderous chorus or explosive finale that never materialize. Conversely, what we get is a cutesy chorus that tells us to enjoy the ride over a fast garage beat. The adorable melody’s subtle shifts, however, make this song enormously enjoyable, with Serneholt showing off her very pretty voice to its best effect across endless layers of vocal overdubs (which makes me wonder, how would Britney Spears’ material have sounded if someone with a little talent had sung it?). The importance of this song is considerable, given the fact that, in its little more than three minutes of length, the strengths and weaknesses of the album are revealed. Marred by an often bizarre production that aims to be innovative, but ends up being a chaotic mish mash of neurotically assembled little pieces, stupid lyrics that pretend to be adult by referring to (oh, the originality!) infidelities and sex - plus maybe far too little ambition, the album pretends to be enjoyable, but it is such a half effort that it ends up being just a guilty pleasure.



The record strives to surprise with the Cardigans-esque Wasted Love, a gorgeous song that presents us with the tragedy of teenage heartbreak over an urgent bass line and a rock-ified background that becomes effective by the cold, metallic sheen that the producers give to Marie’s vocals. Sadly, the album lacks any other experiments of this sort, and the majority of its ten tracks are little more than joyless revisions of a now obsolete formula. Take the faltering The Boy I Used To Know and the absolutely dismal I Can’t Be Loved, for example; both songs waste perfect choruses that burst out with energy (Max Martin would be proud) by forcibly cramming them into square melodies and pushing them down with frantic productions that run across a myriad of samples and vocal effects only to come out overwrought, and completely flat.

That’s The Way That My Heart Goes

Beyond Tonight



These missteps are avoided, however, in a number of tracks – most of which have, not curiously at all, been selected as singles. Lead single That’s The Way That My Heart Goes is simply delicious with its whispered, half-spoken verses and waving choruses, which bop in and out of the song with a rush of enthusiastic cheer. This trend is continued with the joyous I Need A House, which carefully straddles the line between pop/rock and dance music while naively addressing teenage homelessness. Driven forward by an infectious chorus and adorable harmonies, the song seems to be at least thirty seconds too short, and one is left with a feeling of not having gotten enough. The same could be said about the relationship anthem I Love Making Love In the Morning, which cheerfully celebrates the joys of sex from the perspective of a fifteen year old imagining how her life will be in ten years time (those who enjoyed the horrid film Thirteen Going On Thirty, will be thrilled by this). It is, nonetheless, a great slice of chocolate, jam and custard-coated cake.

I Love Making Love In The Morning

Calling All Detectives

This trend is redressed, however, when Serneholt ventures into ballad territory. In the delicate love anthem Beyond Tonight, easily the best song in the album, she is given enough time to flex her tiny, still juvenile voice into some sort of emotional expression, bringing much needed depth to the record with a feeling of uncertainty and desire to make love last that’s simply charming in its innocence. Its apparent continuation, the aptly titled Oxygen, slowly lifts the listener up to heaven between soft harmonies and longing sighs. A final highlight of the album, is the fast ballad Calling All Detectives, which combines some of the most ridiculous lyrics imaginable with a gorgeous melody and a haunting electric piano that keeps chirping over the rhythmic percussion and lovely acoustic touches.

Well, here we come to the final review of the month! I really hope it’s wasn’t too boring – I know my writing can be very dull and cryptic on occasions. I’d also like to remind you to buy this album. Go here.

Album Review Pt 1 - Three singles by Kaiti Garbi

First of all, allow me to say that I have been tempted to post these singles in their entirety, since it’s unlikely that most of you will be willing to spend money in an expensive import single that costs almost as much as an album – but, sadly, I just cannot do it. Sorry. However, I am posting the songs that I thought you’d enjoy the most, so at least you’ll have the opportunity to sample each single separately and, if one day you feel like spending capriciously, you’ll hopefully purchase them. Oh, I almost forgot. If you want to buy any of them, go to Greekmusic.

Second, I would like to mention that this review is an exception, and I will indeed resume posting normally after it. Thus, you can expect a proper album's review later in the month. After these small clarifications, allow me to start! :-)
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Τι Θέλουνε Τα Μάτια Σου; (Ti Theloune Ta Matia Sou?/What Do Your Eyes Want?) [CD single - 2000]



Τι Θέλουνε Τα Μάτια Σου; was the first independent single that La Garbi released in her almost twenty-five-year career, and seems to have been little more than an experiment designed to give her the chance to do something she’d never done before. This could be corroborated by the fact that the song wasn’t paid much attention to by either Kaiti or the record company (at the time, they were still promoting her massively successful album To Kati). Nonetheless, it did become a hit, even if she seldom performed it live and approached the whole affair nonchalantly, as if saying ‘look, this time I just want to enjoy myself’.

The original version of the title track is a laid back, watery acoustic rock song that waves placidly across your mind, only to surprise you in the end with a fierce electric guitar solo that comes out of nowhere! It is one of Kaiti’s most amusing songs, because it is pretty straightforward and lacks the explosive instrumental breaks and passionate delivery that characterizes most of her material.

In addition to the title track, the album boasts two new songs and two remixes. Of the new songs, the impossibly pretty (and surprisingly bare of instrumentation) folk number Kane To Logariasmo/Pay the Bill is as close to pre-Turkic influence as modern Greek music can get. A moderate hit on its own, it has however some sprinkles of bouzouki that shine around the melody, keeping the mental image of a calm sea over which rays of sunlight sparkle in bright, momentary reflections. Both the title track and this song were included in Garbi’s next offer, the massive double album Apla Ta Pragmata/Simple Things, which I shall review soon. However, they are remixed versions that have the slick wall-of-sound production that’s so characteristic of Modern Laika. I have to say that, personally, I prefer the original versions; they are a lot fresher and less overwrought and calculated.

The final new song, Aspro I Mavro, became very popular and received quite a lot of radio airplay, even though it was never formally released as a single. It is an ordinary Middle Eastern pop song with some elements of Northern African raï – exotic to Western ears with its violin progressions and waving organ scales, it sadly doesn’t rise above the thousands of similar songs in that genre, and ends up sounding as clichéd and unoriginal as it is: very much. You can almost imagine a belly dancer waving her hips to this while middle-class families of tourists look on as they eat their kebabs. Ugh, tacky :-(.

The two remixes remain quite faithful to the original structure of the title track, only adding a few electronic touches that turn it into two relaxed, yet somewhat danceable numbers that are closer to chill out music than to proper dance floor stompers.

Άσπρο Ή Μαύρο - Aspro I Mavro/White Or Black

Τι Θέλουνε Τα Μάτια Σου; - Ti Theloune Ta Matia Sou?/What Do You Eyes Want? (Club Mix)
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Μία Καρδιά (Mia Kardia/A Heart) [EP single - 2002]



Mia Kardia is Kaiti’s first (and so far, only) EP single, the purpose of which was to keep the momentum built by the double album Apla Ta Pragmata. Basically a four-plus-one-song journey through all the possible disguises that dance music can adopt, Mia Kardia is fun!!! :-D It opens with the spectacular Middle Eastern folksy dance song Ante Geia, which is presented by redoubling drums only to explode into a furious whirlwind of violins, organ and several layers of percussion. With its impossibly catchy, bright chorus, it starts things with a high note! It is followed by the song Mia Kardia Tin Echo, an impossibly pretty slice of electro-pop that cheerfully bounces its way to your brain with an energetic bass line and all sorts of spiralling musical hooks that will make you lose yourself within the song.

Things are followed by the Banghra experiment To Thelo Toso/I Want It So Much, which combines sitars with distant Arabic chants and some touches of Greek traditional music over a prominent, loud mid-tempo beat. Next we come to the star of the EP, the dark and melodramatic journey across the devastated lands of heartbreak that is M'Echeis Arrostisei!!! This is by far my favourite song in the entire record – it starts as a ominous, harsh-sounding military march, only to then blossom into a fast, obscure dance track that’s constantly being pushed forward by an aggressive, pulsating beat and urgent, almost unnerving violins. The chorus shows its Middle Eastern influence only in the instrumentation, further highlighting the contrast between the simple melody and the elaborate ornamentation surrounding it. I absolutely LOVE this song.

The album is closed, surprisingly, by a folk ballad sung in duet with Giorgos Tsalikis, a traditional Laika star. Tha Meinei Metaxy Mas/It Shall Remain Between The Two Of Us, is a pleasant enough song, even though it is hardly original and, most certainly, it isn’t memorable. Just an exercise of marketing placed there to remind Garbi’s core audience that she isn’t willing to stray too far from Anna Vissi’s tried and tested formula for massive success, and thus lose sales.

Άντε Γειά - Ante Geia/Goodbye

Μία Καρδιά Την Έχω - Mia Kardia Tin Echo/I Have A Heart (80's Club Mix)

Μ'Έχεις Αρρωστήσει - M'Echeis Arrostisei/You've Made Me Become Ill
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Γαλάζιο Και Λευκό (Galazio Kai Lefko/Light Blue And White) [CD single - 2004]



With its addictive faux-R&B title track, which includes an amusing whispered rap, Kaiti Garbi voiced her patriotic feelings during the Spring of 2004 by saying that she wanted to paint the whole world light blue and white, like the Greek flag. The truly nice thing about it is that she did so riding on a heavy stacatto rhythm section and an addictive chorus that stuck to everyone's brain for most of the Summer season - so much so, that the single sold 27,000 copies, and reached number 3 in the charts. The aggressive B-side Katapliktiko! is a Middle Eastern-influenced dance track that includes, among other things, the amusing pairing of baglamas and banjo (!), typical violin ornamentation and an ear-shattering, heavy beat that furiously bashes the listener's eardrums. It is a definite highlight, and surreptitiously found its way to Greek dance floors in spite of never being properly released on its own.

However, I suppose to increase the marketability of the single (as if it needed any help), three remixes of previous hits were included. The fresh-sounding, radio friendly ditties were tailor made to fill the summery airwaves. The most notable of these remixes is the beautiful Summer Dance Mix of the hit Esena Mono which is, in its original form, a dull and instantly forgettable ballad – a true rarity in that it is one of Garbi’s very few missteps. However, thanks to the fact that it was extensively remixed, it managed to become a very sizeable hit. This is one of the best remixes.

Καταπλήκτικό! - Katapliktiko!/Awesome!

Εσένα Μόνο - Esena Mono/Only You (Nikos Terzis Summer Dance Mix)

Γαλάζιο Και Λευκό - Galazio Kai Lefko/Light Blue And White

Album Review - The Sound of Girls Aloud: The Greatest Hits

One of Britain's most successful girl groups ever, Girls Aloud epitomize the very meaning of the word 'product'. Randomly handpicked by a fame hungry clown and two integral imbeciles (Gerry Halliwell, Pete Waterman and Louis Walsh, respectively) in the awful reality show Popstars :The Rivals, the group was destined to be yet another one among the masses of barely tolerable one-hit-wonders that the music industry uses to momentarily increase its revenues, and then discards mercilessly and without a second thought. What is it, then, that makes this group even remotely interesting? What has saved them from oblivion?

The answer would be, I think,style in banality. Girls Aloud are not the prettiest girls, have barely mediocre voices and lack the ability to construct a coherent phrase after making considerable collective efforts. This doesn't make them any different from hundreds of other retarded tarts that try to hit the charts nowadays, I know, but the truth is that success behind this group's talent for crass mediocrity seems to be its presentation. Yes, the girls are good at two things: they do what they're told, and mime coyly to bizarre pop songs the impact of which is great enough as to eclipse the greasy, grimy Council Estate aura that emanates from these five petty chavette prototypes.



Thus, after 5 years of touring, grating interviews and ever changing hairdos, Girls Aloud present us with what possibly is the high point of their career: an album containing their impressive (in chart terms) collection of hits, which manages to both make an objective presentation of their talents while gracefully describing what’s so wrong with the group. And it’s precisely there where things lead us to the question: how have they managed to keep going?! The drunken-chant-on-a-Saturday-night-out approach that is given to most of the choruses, combined with the chaotic verse-swapping of which the group’s producers are so fond, expose Girls Aloud for what it is; an impersonal, over-tried formula that’s been (for once) well-directed by record company executives, and little else.

What is it, then, that should make us buy this album? The answer is in the music. While often slipping into self-parody with downright idiotic lyrics that wouldn’t look out of place in a ten-year-old’s personal diary, the way in which the strange, hook-ridden melodies are presented is simply irresistible, and attests to both the originality and acute commercial instinct of songwriters Xenomania. From the opening guitar riffs of their irresistible first hits Sound Of The Underground and No Good Advice to the last skipping beats and distorted guitar effects of their absolutely dismal version of Tiffany’s rebellious puppy love ‘classic’ I Think We’re Alone Now, the richly textured backgrounds to which the girls whine are the very stuff of innovation, and that’s exactly what sets them apart from every other clone-band.

No Good Advice



Another thing that can be observed while listening to this collection is the stylistic linearity that the group has followed, from the techno-tinged faux rock with Bananarama-esque vocals of their beginnings to the gradually more aggressive electric guitar-licked dance sound of their later offerings, Girls Aloud has evolved into a smoothly running machine that easily produces instant-perfect disposable pop with impressive comfort. This transition can easily be appreciated in the bombastic Wake Me Up, blossoming in its apparent continuation, the inescapable Something Kinda Ooh, both of which explode into the listener’s ears with an overabundance of instrumental layers that both bury and highlight the melodies’ alternation of shocking counterpoints and endless hooks.

Wake Me Up

Something Kinda Ooh



The problems start when the girls step away from the fast running beat train that carries their few memorable moments. While experiments like Long Hot Summer, Biology and the doo-wop styled ballad Whole Lotta History manage to be cute thanks to their careful crafted melodies, running along them there are disastrous accidents like the simply insufferable concoctions The Show and the unclassifiable Love Machine: genuinely odd moments that bare the girls’ soul-less squawking and lack of interpretive skills, while offending the listener’s ears with simply irritating, aimless tunes. The ballads don’t fare much better, being most attempts disastrous dog’s breakfasts covered in pretty garnish. From the beautiful guitar introduction of Life Got Cold (which goes from spoken dullness to whispered narcotic in no time) to their monotonous, lazily-walking-by-the-notes covers of I’ll Stand By You and DC Lee’s gorgeous ode to unrequited love See The Day, the dramatic impact of which is sadly wasted by an amateurish delivery and paper thin vocals, and is only tolerable because of the original melody’s sheer beauty.

Whole Lotta History

Long Hot Summer

See The Day

Thus, here finishes this month’s review! I hope you like it and I didn’t bore you too much with my unclear writing. :-) If you like the songs I've posted, please go to buy the album at Amazon or HMV.

Album Review - Anna Vissi's Paraxenes Eikones (Strange Images)

As a highly anally retentive person, I am obsessed with quantifying things - records, clothes, jobs, men... :-P. Seriously, I have thought that it would be a good idea to post a few album reviews (no more than one each month), just to offer an overview of some of the albums I'll mention as I post, which I hope will prompt you to buy them. So here it is, my first attempt at boring you to death! ;-D



Hastily produced during 2003 to compensate for the somewhat mediocre performance of her previous album, 2002's X (Chi), the double album Παράξενες Εικόνες (which contains a total of 25 songs) was hailed as Anna Vissi's triumphal return to the top of the Greek and Cypriot charts.

However, had she ever really fallen from the higher echelons of the success and popularity ladder? The answer is an emphatic no. Yet and still, it would be important to notice that Anna's favouring of extreme diversity during the most recent part of her career was bound to disconcert her public at one point or another; peculiar experiments and a love for musical fusion might be exciting from an artistic point of view, but they don't really seem to blend in well with commercial viability. Simply put, Vissi's ambition might have been her own (very partial) undoing. Still, it is understandable that for a musician of her stature, accustomed to immediate and immeasurable success for more than a decade, 'moderate success' is little more than an euphemism for 'crass failure'.



This time around, the musical diversity is accompanied by professional diversity. Nikos Karvelas, Anna's ex-husband and composer, writer, arranger and producer of the vast majority of her material (as well as most of her greatest hits), gracefully leaves space for other songwriters to lend their songs to the album. Even though at eight songs he is by far the major contributor, the restrictions to the material he is allowed to give are conversely liberating for Karvelas - some of his contributions manage to be innovative as they are emotionally charged, but the rest are mostly perfect pop confections that seem to be made to rapidly sail their way to the top of the charts (his speciality :-) ). The rest of the collection is, however, no inferior in any way to Karvelas' truly excellent offerings.



The first album is more geared towards international audiences, with an abundance of dance numbers, exaggerate Adult Oriented Rock ballads and faux-R&B numbers. Swedish team Alex Papaconstantinou and Peter Cartriers take control in the album's first two danceable tracks, delivering an atmospheric and cold dance anthem in the enormous hit Είσαι (later released worldwide as Call Me), which uses Vissi's moans along with volin progressions to fill in the spaces between melodic segments. However, their skills are better seen in the beautiful faux-R&B song Εγώ, Μωρό Μου, which incorporates alternating percussive samples over the song's bass line, and beautiful flute ornamentation.

Εγώ, Μωρό Μου - Ego, Moro Mou/I, My Darling

Το Τρένο - To Treno/The Train

The rest of the first album flows gracefully between genres, meeting its pinnacles in the majestic folk epic Το Τρένο (1st single and massive success from the album), which rivals the best power ballads ever written in sheer dramatism, and the bombastic dance number Έχω Πεθάνει Για Σένα (7th single of the album), which narrates a person's descent into alcoholism-induced suicide over aggressive beats and distorted electronic effects. Still, the highlights of the album are the bizarre electroclash of Ξαφνικά/Suddenly (written by Peter Lord and V. Jeffery Smith, the team behind Paula Abdul's early 90's success), and the pensive, dark ballads that open and close the album, which include the disturbing title track.

Έχω Πεθάνει Για Σένα - Echo Pethanei Gia Sena/I've Died For You

Είσαι - Eisai/You Are (Prodigal Son remix)



The second album is less commercial, even if not less diverse. From the first guitar notes of opener Ψυχεδέλεια/Spiritual Revelation to the last beats of the Prodigal Son remix of the spectacular Είσαι, the listener is taken through a journey of musical discovery through diverse types of Greek folk, the majestic Φεύγω with its watery effects and guitar solos (by far one of the best songs in both albums), Middle Eastern-influenced acoustic rock, the Urban mid-tempo of Μωβ/Mauve and the big-band-meets-Middle-Easten-folk-and-swing number Βατερλώ, also one of the most interesting tracks in both albums.

Φεύγω - Fevgo/I'm Leaving

Βατερλώ - Vaterlo/Waterloo

Thus, without further ado (and hoping my first attempt at a review wasn't too great an irritation ;-) ), I present you with the selection I've made. but before, please go buy this album here. Enjoy!